ON BEING "SINGLE"

This Single Ishhh is for the birds!!!!!!!!!

I'm used to being Catered To; Assisted; Protected;..... Having Someone to Carry My Bags.... Sheesh!! No disrespect to anyone else, but, I Am NOT one of those women who boasts about being strong and independent. STRONG? That's a given. I birthed three children into the world {two of them, in the southeastern corner of my bedroom..without meds, monitors or my mama!} INDEPENDENT? Of what/whom? What does that mean, really?? See, that's part of the problem. Everyone wants to claim independence as if companionship, partnership and intimate relationships equate captivity, dominion or enslavement of some kind. We live in such an individualistic society, where a false sense of independence is glamorized.What of that? Doesn't our mere existence in this realm, on this planet, in hueman form, dictate that we form relations with others so that we may thrive? And, aside from attaining solitude for spiritual reasons, quietly going through a healing process or when partaking in some sort of rites-of-passage, who wants to be alone, anyway?
There's even a time when all of that is done as a group!

In indigenous societies, the single woman, let alone- the Single MOTHER, was an anomaly! There was a community of women that looked after one another. Women had mothers, sisters, sister~wives, cousins, friends.... Each Other!!! Not many of us have that today. We are isolated and even isolate ourselves, for a various reasons. For one thing, we are socialized Not to need anyone!! I can do it all by myself! It is the American way, isn't it? The modern way to be? Perhaps. I, for one, don't desire that. From what I know, women Need partners. In Partnership, We Shine. 


Ooooo.. that reminds me of a Trey Songz song where he says something like, "We shine togetha!" {but, don't quote me quoting him; I'll find it and post it at the bottom of the page. But, Of Course!;-)} And, why I always gotta bring Him up in my posts?? I don't know what it is about that young man.. *blushing*.... Just be happy I'm not sneakin Lil Wayne up in here.. I just LuvsMeSumHim ... teeheeheehee.. OK, OK, ENOUGH ABOUT THEM!! 
Back to the subject at hand:

As I was saying, women tend to flourish in relationships. Whether it's women working together, supporting other women, being involved in intimate relationships with, etc... or, women in engaging in supportive, healthy relationships with men as partners. When I say partners, I don't necessarily mean equal partners, in the ways that one might think. Each individual has a role within a relationship. That those roles are equal is not prerequisite. Nor, is it effective, normal or within the natural order of things. But, more about that in my book. So long as all are happy, healthy, honest {you know how I feel about honesty} and evolving, I consider The Relationship WinNing!

No one is an island..it's true! We may be able to survive on a deserted island alone, but aren't you aiming to Thrive? I Am. And, I Will NOT Do It Alone. Not for long, anyway. Now, I do have lots of phenomenal men in my life {none of which is My Man, nor would I want any of them to be... ewww} And, don't get me wrong, I Am Happy being by myself, in this moment {Ok, that changes from time-to-time: day-to-day; sometimes, moment-to-moment..but, you get the bigger picture!}. I Am Conscious of and I Honor the fact that this space/time I reside in is overflowing with all kinds of great and wonderfull possibilities~ all mine, for the choosing!!! How sweet is that?!! It's like receiving multiple letters of invitation to various events. All look appealing. What are you going to do? Decisions, decisions...You can either hold on to the invitations: rereading them over and again, feeling content that you were invited to so many affairs to begin with. Or, you can take it a step further and initiate a selection process: beginning to narrow the invitations down according to date and time and other such criteria, before choosing which one{s} to attend. I, am interested in the latter. One of my mottos is Choose Something! The very act of choosing something propels you forward through the planning and execution stage, then on to achievement and, on to the next episode. Yes! That is what I have done. By choosing to welcome this point in time with open arms, I have taken a step in the direction, also of my choosing, leading me closer to the exact point in time where I envision myself being. I'm almost there!!! 

Aaah!! I get it! So, THAT's what THIS IS~ a Rite-of-Passage!! Like the birthing process, I have to go it alone. Rites-of-passage are meant to be temporary embarkations. Only, you board your own vessel and are both passenger and captain during the journey that takes place over the course of an undetermined period of time. Although this is proving to be a challenging phase, I vow to fully immerse myself into every aspect of it; to delve into the thick of it, facing it without fear. The "worst" part is anticipation, expectation, value placement. I'm open to this evolutionary process and all it has to offer. I view it as an adventure, because I know I am meant to gain insight, clarity and a fuller awareness of my own transformation as it is occuring. Once this interval is over, I'll be more equipped to partake in more elevated social interactions. So, for now, I Embrace Doing For Self; Protecting Self; and, Carrying My Own Bags! I Know that this, too shall pass. Besides, flying birds symbolize freedom.

**Ok, so I was incorrect about the Trey Songz lyrics! It's Fly Together, which, by the way, happens to be even more appropriate for this post! Go figure!!!!!!!

***DISCLAIMER~ I do know that men are more than just bag carriers. They mean so much more to me than that. :-)