7 Things WOMEN SHOULD LET MEN DO WHILE DATING

I liken the steps of the entire dating process to a first date. It sets the tone for how you interact throughout the relationship. What you accept and what you reject during that date, determine all else. In fact, you actually began to set the standard in your earliest talks with him. You were clear and direct regarding your standards, likes and dislikes. And, you have been noticeably consistent  in the way you conducted yourself over the course of many conversations. He has been paying very close attention to that.

In this case, that first date is a day-long affair, beginning in the afternoon and going on late into the night. It's a chance to spend quality face-time together; after months of {technologically assisted} discussions. In that time, you've each learned what makes the other tick; kinds of food you eat; and, places you like to go, among other things. Actually, you've gotten to know each other quite well.

Food For Thought~ Think About Action

DID YOU KNOW AMERICAN COMPANIES: Kraft, Coca Cola and Walmart  Distribute Their Products FREE OF ARTIFICIAL FOOD COLORS AND DYES THROUGHOUT EUROPE? Meanwhile, they distribute THE SAME NAMED PRODUCTS {FILLED WITH ARTIFICIAL FOOD COLORS AND DYES} Right Here, IN AMERICA!! 

Off The Wall

I must say, Wendy Williams SUCKS BUTT {pardon my language} on Dancing with the Stars!! I had to say it! It's not like you didn't know that already. But, I give her so much credit for being brave enough to make the effort at all. Why am I talking about this on Friday night, anyway?? I know, the show comes on at the beginning of the week and that's old news. True. Well, I'm a Home Schooling Mother of three and I get around to these things when I can.. gimme a break!
Actually, I felt compelled to write about what I perceive as her experience on the popular dance show. The reason being, I can totally relate!! Not that I would suck butt on there.. Please! What I mean is, she obviously has issues around dancing {however deep- seated} and, I, too, have had issues around dancing. Those who know me {and know me well enough} know that I was a perpetual wall flower. ~Flowers I do love~ But, the more lively, colorful variety. You know, those beautyfull, sometimes scented ones that peek out from the tops of water-filled vases. As a pretty wall flower, peeking out I did NOT! In fact, I turned my head the other way when I noticed individuals making their way toward me with aspirations of acquiring a dance accompanied by myself. Nope. Uh- Uh. I simply refused. Every. Single. Time. Bottom- line, they never stood a chance. Period. *Apologies Brothas of My Past* I viewed my  holding up the walls at various venues throughout the cities where my elementary, high school and college were located as my sacred duty. When I was on WALL, the foundation was going NoWhere! There could have been an earth-shattering quake, tsunami, nuclear bomb, whatever.. When it was all over, you best believe me and my wall would still be standing!! {You get the picture}


Back to Wendy..HA!!!..I tend to digress at times..I was attempting to draw a connection between her and me. She seemed as though she wanted to cry after each performance. I used to cry even though I hadn't performed. She has, at minimum, some sense of confidence; enough to get her on that dance floor in the first place! I completely lacked the esteem to just shine and be me, regardless of how I or others felt I looked.


So, what's the point of this yarn I'm spinnin'? Watching Wendy reminded me of how much I have evolved in this short span I call life {via my present form of being}. The days of suffering from low self-esteem {which, by the way, should officially be classified as a form of mental illness..it really is} are over!!!!!!! I Am Free of self- doubt and self-loathing!!! When I stood up at my recent 20th Year High School Reunion and danced, I stepped outside myself; gazing and smiling at just how far I have come. Sure, I've danced at the many conscious reggae "concerts" I've attended over the nine and a half years of I lived within RasTafarI. That was Spiritual; Transcendent. But, this, it was different. This was dancing for dancing's sake AND dancing for life's sake at the same time!!  I dance all the time, now! It's a part of my regular routine. Early this a.m., I was at the disco {in my kitchen} groovin' with Donna Summer, etc...


It's Friday Night and I have two sho' nuff rituals I've developed {purely unintentionally..at least on a conscious level}. They are: 1. My Sensual Love Bath with Personal Spa Treatments and, 2. Dancing My Ass Off in my living room to whatever moves me!! Now I'm Living!!!!!!! And, now I know that what My Beloved Brotha Michael says: Life 'aint so bad at all/ When You Live It OFF THE WALL is True.


Happiness Is Health. 
~Health Is Wealth~

Don't Wanna DETOX?

It's Springtime! DE-TOX Time!! Not up for it? Neither am I! But, here's some things We Can Do to give our bodies a bit of a break from all the excess:

AM DO's            

1. Water First {with or without a little lime juice}- as many glasses as you can stand before you absolutely have to have something to eat! Spread your glasses apart, don't just gulp for gulping's sake. Wake up earlier if you have to so you can make sure you've used the facilities enough before you venture out. *'Tis the season for earlier a.m. rising, anyway.
2. Smoothie & a Bar {some type of granola bar, that is}- Make sure it's a FRUIT Smoothie! Fruits are for the a.m. and you'll appreciate that boost you get from all those natural sugars and vitamins. And, take it with you if you can. You'll want to wait at least a 1/2 hour after your final glass of water before you drink it. Half hour after that, if you still feel really hungry, eat an energy bar. I have mine around 11a.m. Clif Luna Bars are my faves~ Caramel Nut Brownie; White Chocolate Macadamia; Chocolate Raspberry; and, Chocolate Dipped Coconut~ FYI: There are other flavors besides chocolate! :-)
1. Alternative- So Delicious Coconut Milk Or Amande Almond Milk Non Dairy YOGURT. Dip Apple or Strawberry Slices in the yogurt, then dip into Nature's Path HEMP Plus Granola..Yum..Freakin' Yummm...

PM DO's

1. Big Salad {this can be in place of or in addition to your lunchtime usual}- Make sure you get your daily dose of fibrous greens. Green Leaf. Red Tip. Radicchio. Arugula. Boston. Endive. Red Chard. And, Romaine {which I've recently become pretty fond of} *Include Spinach for iron and other minerals. "Why Salad?" you ask. Regularity is Key~ to Health, Wealth and Great Skin! {doesn't that make you Happy?!!}
2. Skip Dinner?? {did I say to eat a big enough lunch to satisfy you?}- Who says you Need to eat dinner, anyway? You've had your drinks and a light snack. Make this meal count. Who said you had to skimp on your salad, especially, if that's going to be your largest meal of the day? Go ahead, you know how to live a little! Enhance that salad! Douse on the nuts & seeds, raisins, sprouted beans, nori, croutons..whatever floats your boat. Or, lightly embellish with cucumbers, avocado, etc, etc... Whatever you do, you had better enjoy it!!
3. Snack It Up! {snack often}- Tortilla Chips & Salsa. Tortilla Chips & Hummus. Popcorn {Little Lad's Herbal is good}. Nori & Avocado. Nuts & Raisins. Raw Veggies. 

PLEASE Do NOT

• SMOKE {cigarettes}.
• DRINK ALCOHOL.
• Eat FLESH {beef, chicken, goat, alligator, fish...} More Than THREE Times a Week.
• Eat FRIED FOODS More Than ONCE A WEEK.
• Drink SODA, SWEETENED JUICES.
• Eat CANDY.
• DEPRIVE YOUSELF of REST {you'll need lots of energy to keep yourself from doing all the please do not stuff!}.

OTHER STUFF

• Begin Your Day on a POSITIVE NOTE~ Affirmations, Exercise, Focused Breathing, Reading This Blog... :-)
• DON'T GO OUT TO DINNER WITH FRIENDS.. Stay Focused!!!!!!
• TAKE IT EASY. Don't be so hard on yourself if you mess up. Pick up and start again. ~Forward Ever~
• If you're an Everyday Coffee Drinker, SUBSTITUTE HERBAL TEA and drink tons of it throughout the course of the day. Sweeten with AGAVE NECTAR. You'll lose water weight and, some fat cells to boot!! Not to mention, your hair and skin will shine and sing your praises. 
• You can even Taper Down to Every Other Day Coffee and Tea. You gotta start somewhere, right?!!

YOU CAN DO IT! OF COURSE, YOU CAN!!!    :-)

BigGER Love

Did you see the Season Finale of "Big Love"???

I did. I cried! Did you? I mean, what an emotional roller coaster right from the beginning!! I'd be doing my deep breathing exercises whenever I'd see Bill onscreen. I could feel his tension {he was always so darn tense!} in every single episode. Whether it was during the earlier years of his struggles with the Home Plus franchise or around the never-ending issues within his marriage{s}, it was Always Sumthin'! There was always some type of Major Drama that Bill and his wives had to contend with. But, this was the very first episode where I experienced having to let the water flow from my lids. My heart was full of all kinds of feelings: joy and sadness included.

Throughout the show's duration, I wasn't really cool about Bill and his family not being accepted by the dominant society. I'm not cool with people being treated as outcasts, in general. My thing is, if you don't like something, don't get involved in it. Mind your own business, right? So, for me, this wasn't just a controversial dramatic cable series. There's no such notion as art for art's sake in my book. The kind of bigotry Bill and his family experienced happens everyday in "real life"..True Story! Aside from the fact that Bill's particular religious beliefs seemed a little ignorant and backwoods to me..My Truth, people!..I feel like they still had every right to practice freely and live their lives as they saw fit. They weren't harming anyone and their intentions appeared to be loving. And, while we're on the subject of intent, what of the business of Margene {sp} being 16 when she and Bill married?!! Exactly what were each of their intentions? .. Hmmm.. That's a whole 'notha issue. I'm not judging, just saying.. {P.S~ Men aren't that foolish are they?.. Rhetorical question- HA!!- I know they are}

Anyway, LOVE happens to be one of my favorite topics of discussion. Rule #1~ LOVE IS LIFE. Question: How do we know when a thing is living? Answer: It grows/ changes/ expands. Love does all those things. Love is growth, change and expansion. Wherever Love exists, Life exists.

If you're not growing/ changing/ expanding, then, by default, you are diminishing/ remaining static/ decreasing. I'm not saying that if you're not practicing polygamy, you're not living! {That's funny} What I am saying is that if you're not having lots of sex, you're not living!!.. Joking! On the contrary, despite popular belief, polygamy is as complex as, if not, more than, other types of unions- not just about sex. Seriously, what I am saying is that individuals should begin by learning to love themselves more wholistically, spreading that love to family members, friends, significant others and if that means eventually increasing your current circle of significant others, so be it. Were you listening to childlike, innocent Margene when told Bill that her wanting to explore the world outside of their family/ community would be in addition to rather than in place of what they had? She said, "You're my anchor. You're my home. But, someday, I do want to meet new people and share what's in my heart with others."~ BANG! That's BIG'! That's Love.

Bill and Barbara's love began small, just intimate enough for the two of them. Later, it grew to encompass a larger union. They faced enormous challenges with life-altering consequences; many, not unlike those faced by monogamous couples. Where Bill & Barb differ greatly from monogamous couples is in the fact that their type of union {polygamous} is illegal and considered sinful by most religious institutions and authorities. SCREW THEM!! ..pun intended..

Ever the cheerleader for True Champions, I'm givin' a SHOUT OUT to All Polygamous Families!

You Choose Your Way regardless of the what others say. You Choose Love as a Way of Life. And, just like Bill's wives eventually learned, you Overstand that LOVE is about Acceptance, Allowance and the Acknowledgement that it is owned by no one, yet, it BELONGS TO ALL. Love is really BIG. In fact, it is Bigger than we can ever imagine.

All We HAVE To Do, All We CAN Do, is Allow Love to Grow.. Bigger and Bigger and BIGGER...

~HEALTH IS WEALTH~

Copyright © 2011 Motha Nature, Harlem, USA