In the words of Comedienne Joan Rivers,
Ok. BROTHAS.. Many of you claim YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO TELL HER how you're really feeling; share some of your innermost desires. You say you just wish you could talk to her openly, honestly, without judgment or fear of repercussions from her. You really want her to just listen. Isn't that true?
And, SISTAS.. Most of us say WE WISH HE WOULD TALK TO US MORE
about how he really feels; share his innermost desires with us. We say we just want him to feel comfortable enough to discuss anything with us, no matter what it is. We want him to stop lying to us simply because he thinks we can't handle the truth. Right?
Are Y'all Really Tellin' The Truth???
Come on, now..
BE HONEST!!!
WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK???
I Think:
ALL OF THE ABOVE SOUNDS GOOD. BUT, I DON'T THINK MOST MEN REALLY WANT TO COME TOTALLY CLEAN ABOUT HOW THEY TRULY FEEL. FOR MANY, LIVING THE LIE IS EASIER AND MORE EXCITING. A LOT OF MEN HAVE GROWN SO ACCUSTOMED TO BEING AN IMAGE RATHER THAN A REALITY THAT IT WOULD TAKE FAR GREATER WORK, THAN THEY'RE WILLING TO COMMIT TO, STAND IN THE LIGHT OF THE TRUTH.
ON THE WOMEN'S SIDE, LIVING WITH THE IMAGE HE PROJECTS IS LESS WORK THAN IF SHE IS FORCED TO DEAL WITH THE REAL LIVE VERSION OF HIM. MANY WOMEN, LOVE THEIR OSTRICH LIFE. MOST WOMEN PRETEND THEY WANT TO HEAR IT ALL. WHEN THEY EVENTUALLY DO, THEY CHOOSE NOT TO FACE IT HEAD-ON. INSTEAD, THEY BECOME ANGRY AND BITTER. THEY WILL EITHER ATTEMPT TO CONTROL HIM WITH RESTRICTIONS AND ULTIMATUMS OR SIMPLY WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL.
Scenario for the Brothas:
One day, while doing her weekly shopping at the market, that really nice, handsome man in the bread aisle, who always pulls the package of bread she likes from the top shelf, finally introduced himself as the owner of the market. He said he looks forward to helping her and makes a special effort to do so, every week, while he's there checking on things at the store. She told him she's married. He told her he is, too. Then, he asked her if she would join him for a cup of tea at the cafe, there in the market, next week, before she does her shopping. He tells her to just think about it. She really wants to. But, she will detail the entire scenario to you, first.
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
**Please leave a comment below.**
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK???
How would you respond? Would one, or both situations be ok with you?
I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!!!
I Think:
ALL OF THE ABOVE SOUNDS GOOD. BUT, I DON'T THINK MOST MEN REALLY WANT TO COME TOTALLY CLEAN ABOUT HOW THEY TRULY FEEL. FOR MANY, LIVING THE LIE IS EASIER AND MORE EXCITING. A LOT OF MEN HAVE GROWN SO ACCUSTOMED TO BEING AN IMAGE RATHER THAN A REALITY THAT IT WOULD TAKE FAR GREATER WORK, THAN THEY'RE WILLING TO COMMIT TO, STAND IN THE LIGHT OF THE TRUTH. Scenario for the Sistas:
One day, during the long train ride home, he met a woman. They had casual conversation. They continue to see each other once a week on the train and have casual conversation. She is married. She's cool to talk to and has a pretty smile. He is attracted to her. He wants to exchange phone numbers with her so they can develop a friendship. He doesn't, though. He's going to explain the whole scenario to you, first.
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
Scenario for the Brothas:
One day, while doing her weekly shopping at the market, that really nice, handsome man in the bread aisle, who always pulls the package of bread she likes from the top shelf, finally introduced himself as the owner of the market. He said he looks forward to helping her and makes a special effort to do so, every week, while he's there checking on things at the store. She told him she's married. He told her he is, too. Then, he asked her if she would join him for a cup of tea at the cafe, there in the market, next week, before she does her shopping. He tells her to just think about it. She really wants to. But, she will detail the entire scenario to you, first.DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
How would you respond? Would one, or both situations be ok with you?
I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!!!
I think that in both situations, it depends on what one's true intention is. In many cases, it's easier for a woman to have a platonic relationship without even considering taking things too far. It's also a matter of principle and values... Self control... doing the right thing... and not lying to yourself about what YOUR intentions are. I know I can tell when a man is sexually attracted to me and using that 'Let's go have tea as friends' BS as a way to get the cookie. Men are dominators, hunters. Women are protective, and possesive. Neither sex can stand the idea of someone becoming more important, or seeing their spouse become dependant on another's company as a refuge. Your mate is you refuge. With that being said, if my man feels comfortable telling me about his train buddy, then he should feel comfortable with us all having lunch together. If I cant feel comfortable introducing my new drinking buddy to my man, then I dont need to sitting in a cafe with him. Would he invite me AND my man for tea if we were shopping together? I think not. So, why even play that game?
ReplyDeleteAlso, God gave us eyes so that we could appreciate the beauty in the world.
ReplyDeletePeople come in many different shapes, shades, and styles. Just like flowers, we are all beautiful, exotic and different. I look at men AND women and find things to admire. Just because someone is attractive doesnt mean that they are THE ONE, or better than what's waiting at home. I think my man is gorgeous. Noone else does it for me (well, except Prince). Yet, if we are out and he sees me looking at another man, he gets angry. As far as he knows, I could be looking at the man's sweater thinking 'wow my man would look great in that' or i could be staring at the disgusting pustules on his neck. Either way I'm being "disrespectful". When I see him looking a other women and I dont upset at all. Why? Because: a). I have self esteem, b). 9 times out of 10 I already saw her and acknowledged the fact that her ass looks great in those jeans, or that she has incredible sex appeal; and c). I know that he is holding MY hand, that he LOVES ME, and that he digs MY back out every night. Why would I trip about a random stranger? I'm beautiful and sexy, too. Plus, I know how to please him. She would have to learn. I cook his meals, rub his back, comb his hair, make him feel like a king. I'M THE REAL THING!
THANK YOU, Sis, FOR COMMENTING!!! I appreciate you for taking the time and having the courage to do so. I like what you said about "..appreciate the beauty in the world." Indeed. There is nothing wrong with looking. Men are very visual, anyway- they're gonna look! Your self-esteem is key. Knowing where you are in your relationship is of utmost importance. Once you feel safe with who you are at home and you understand the value of that, it's a little easier for you not to be intimidated by others on the outside. Glad you know your own worth!!! :-)
ReplyDelete*Don't be a stranger, now!
Wooo.. I THINK THIS TOPIC IS TOO MUCH FOR MOST!! EYES WILL LOOK, BUT VOICES SPEAK..NOT!..
ReplyDelete~Loving You Anyway~ ;-)